I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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