Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm jealous of your bromance
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
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If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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