Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
