i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Welp...herpes.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Im part way to drunk.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
