'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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