Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
