So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
