Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
