Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
