I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
