We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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