just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
