dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
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