We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
