I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
