He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.