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• (212): View more from New York

  I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.

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• (619): View more from California

  its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.

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• (587): View more from Alberta

  Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.

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• (805): View more from California

  The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Let's celebrate that I used a condom

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Brb crying the tears of my youth

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• (916): View more from California

  He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.

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• (585): View more from New York

  Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.

  (585): View more from New York

  How long will your dick be dry?

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• (212): View more from New York

  Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.

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