Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(250): View more from British Columbia

i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.

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(250): i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week. http://tfl.nu/bxis

Replies (12) Good night (719) Bad night (1440)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet

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(918): eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet http://tfl.nu/8959

Replies (7) Good night (552) Bad night (4014)
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(914): View more from New York

fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.

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(914): fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no. http://tfl.nu/w88c

Replies (17) Good night (1114) Bad night (5771)
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(406): View more from Montana

That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.

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(406): That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub. http://tfl.nu/1hw4

Replies (4) Good night (3039) Bad night (893)
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(347): View more from New York

just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner

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(347): just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner http://tfl.nu/v9ac

Replies (9) Good night (6196) Bad night (948)
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(510): View more from California

just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?

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(510): just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i? http://tfl.nu/gdnc

Replies (7) Good night (3683) Bad night (956)
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(940): View more from Texas

You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.

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(940): You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata. http://tfl.nu/mqsn

Replies (3) Good night (3276) Bad night (711)
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(714): View more from California

My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin

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(714): My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin http://tfl.nu/22om

Replies (10) Good night (1934) Bad night (825)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic

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(859): I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic http://tfl.nu/wb2m

Replies (7) Good night (1069) Bad night (2066)
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(801): View more from Utah

I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.

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(801): I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird. http://tfl.nu/5cem

Replies (3) Good night (888) Bad night (791)
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(316): View more from Kansas

You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.

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(316): You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger. http://tfl.nu/ic08

Replies (4) Good night (479) Bad night (1102)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee

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(717): dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee http://tfl.nu/bnsi

Replies (10) Good night (450) Bad night (929)
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(407): View more from Florida

Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear

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(407): Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear http://tfl.nu/b5s7

Replies (3) Good night (1113) Bad night (337)
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(817): View more from Texas

Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.

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(817): Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong. http://tfl.nu/ru69

Replies (1) Good night (355) Bad night (210)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.

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(250): all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot. http://tfl.nu/zlsh

Replies (2) Good night (357) Bad night (446)

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