"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize