she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
