ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
