TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
