Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
