My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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