just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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