? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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