I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
