Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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