Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I have post one night stand depression
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