Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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