I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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