i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
