I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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