We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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