I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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