At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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