for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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