Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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