hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
