eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
that may or may not have been my penis.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
