she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
