10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize