i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
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