he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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