OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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