No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
We are two peas in an std pod
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
