In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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