hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
