if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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