you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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