all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
