I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
