I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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