Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
