His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
