i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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