We're facebook friends in real life
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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