a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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