She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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