He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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